this is a just a short collection of comics relating to some D&D characters I had. The wizard, Malekai started out as Tallos' cohort for the leadership feat, but I wanted to fluff him out a bit (so he wasn't just a walking fireball stick) so I wrote him a backstory and in the game I had him start creating an undead army underneath a 'hospital' Tallos had purchased. throughout the course of the adventure, and through some very high diplomacy rolls Tallos managed to recruit a Lich by the name of Liz and a vampire spawn known as Edric. However, after writing it for a while it kind of took on a mind of it's own and started writing itself.

this was created in 2012 in regards to a Dungeons and Dragons campaign

Chapter I: So.. What is it You Do Here?
Congratulations! You're the manager!
Purging Evidence
Lichs in the ER
Hollow Promises
Enter the Vampire Spawn
Heart of a Child
Malekai's Cooking
Edric's Closet
TV Gay
Am I Pretty?
Gifts from Tallos
Lich Insurance
Cauldron Porn
Wizard Duel
University Education
No Fun Allowed
Touch Yourself
I'm Just Not Into That
Robe and Crown
Why Puzzles?
Wisdom 21
You're a Fruit
It's Not an iPod
But This Is The Best Part!
Too Much Bird
Break and Enter

Chapter II: To Life! To LIIIIIIIFE!
Helm of Opposite Alignment
Circle of Protection: Good
Even Lich's Get Lonely
She's Crazy
When You can Just Conjure Friends...
Slumber Party
Evil in the Morning, Evil in the Evening

Chapter III: Bow to the Queen!
I Can Pretend Like I'm Cool
Bet You Wish Those Bridges Weren't Burnt Now
Classic Hyperbole
College Drop-Outs Assemble!
Snakes on a ... College
Are We Interrupting Something?
Calling All Psychopaths!
FYI, Her Favorite Color is Purple
Good Thing These Robes Are Fire Resistant...
Trash Talking
Not The Best Way to Conscript Friends
Verbal Assault
It's Not Really a Harem
Planning is Not Her Forte
Bag Punchin'
Dem Peasents
Lich Damsels
But You Usually Love Corpses!
Sharing is NOT Caring!
Wizards and their (De)Illusions
Wall of Ears
Children's Toys
Happily Ever After?
Printing Limit
Paladin Infestation
Maybe He Needs a Phylactery of Faithfulness
Just Like High-School
It's Just Common Courtesy

Chapter IV: Enter the Beholder
And Then There Were Counterspells
Wizard Duels
The New Edric
Strength 7
Democracy Sucks
We Should've Gotten that Permit After All
Dodecahedron Pegs
I Never Really Wanted Your Opinion Anyways
When You're Part of an Evil Party..
Mercy, for a Limited Time Only!
Variations on the Truth
Liz Rep -3
12th Level Grovelling
Sticky Names
It's Because They Like You
Celestial is Not a Template She Has
The 2 X's Just Aren't Doing it For Me
12th Level Time Wasters

Chapter V: Dungeoneering
Master Dungeoneer
This is What Happens When Wisdom is Your Dump Stat
When Your Whole Party is Evil..
Smart in Other Ways..
Everyone in this Party is an Unholy Abomination!
Discount at the Trap Outlet
Loyalty is in Short Supply Here
The Fantasies of a Necromancer
Penrose's Dungeon
Part Magpie
Free! No Curses Attached!
Old Friends
Not One of Those Times
But This IS My Weapon
Looting is a Free Action, Right?
I Sure Do Love Hard Work!
No Sense of Honor
So, How Much for Tattered Wizard Robes?

Chapter VI: Crusaders of Justice
Of Wizards and Dresses
Ambitious Doesn't Even Describe It
More Mooks Required!
So.. Japan is Evil?
Just Like When Lex Luthor Killed Superman...
Alignment Under Duress
Justice is Blind
Soft Landing
Son of a Lich
Respect Your Elders
When You Roll a 1 on Disguise..
Nemesis for Hire
Infiltration at it's Finest
Forethought is a Virtue
Invincible is Such an Abstract Term
Wizards Unite!
Fire and Brimstone
Totally Not an EMP
Lawful Evil Modus Operandi
Pencil Pushing Beholders
Lich's Are Scary, After All
That Secret That Everyone Knows About
At Least There's No Arcane Spell Failure Chance
The Best Way to Use a Wand
Plan For Failure
Detail Oriented

Chapter VII: Invasion!
Low Bluff Roll
Empirical Reasearch
Out of Place
Of Cats and Birds
Lichbane Pancakes
+2 Circumstance Bonus
For the Sake of Douchebaggery
Make it Want to Work for you
Guildmaster in Name Alone
Different Perspectives
Questionable Subsections
Siege Engines, Half Off!
Out of Our League
Embezzeling Funds
What, it's Got Great Benefits!
Clearing Mooks
Unreliable Sorcerers
Bargain Bin Labyrinth
Cowardly Allies
Smite Evil
What's Your Insurance Policy for Magical Labyrinths?
It IS a Class Ability
Highly Intelligent Property
Out of Spells
Armor Class
Turn/Rebuke Undead
Common Courtesy
Maybe if You Had a High Enough Bluff..
Phylacterys, Phylacterys Everywhere
Backup Hostages
Onward, to Lich Town

Chapter VIII: The Hunt for Liz
Already Plotting Revenge..
lich's ≠ Small Birds
Aaaaand Lich Town, Everyone!
Skeleton Template Everything!
Does that Mean that Lich Town is also a Ghost Town?
Command Undead
Lars' True Love
Swear On Your Own Grave
Wizard Duels, Right?
Evidence Thief, More Like
Fool Me Twice, But Not a Third Time!
Hansel and Gretel
Third World Problems
Ghost Traps?
More Obvious Than Obvious
I Can't Believe it's Not Riches!
And it was Paladins All Along
That Opportunity Fellow, He Only Knocks Once
Maybe They Are iPhones After All
Trust No One
"Ultimate Artifice"
A Temporary Case of Permanent Blindness
Change of Heart
Evil Forever
Bigger Problems
Ignored Again..
Yep, She's a Cleric
Winston's Moving Castle

Chapter IX: Project Ultimate Artifice
Seizure of Assets
Scholars vs. Bards
Jack of All Trades
Legends, Legends, Legends
Forever a Loser
Rampant Idiocy
So I Met This Guy in a Library This One Time..
Provocation For All the Right Reasons
I Just Love the Ones That Squirm
Not the Greatest Ice Breaker
The Blackest of Humor
The Omnistone
Entreat the Gods
Bloody Swath
Limp to the Back of the Line, Cripple
Douchebags, All of Them Douchebags!
My Own Patented Brand of Justice, No Plagarizing!
Dark Powers
Tip 15% for Each Orphan
Bird Poop
Sleep is Such a Foolish Waste of Time
Classic Misdirection
What We Need Here, is Another Malevolent Superbeing
Outsmarting God

Chapter X: Crusaders of What?
Grand Theft Gourmet
Sweet Dreams From Tabitha
Dust to Dust
Masochistic Tendancies
Listening Skills
Seeing Skills
Map Skills
My Little Gargoyle
So.. What's the Meaning of Servitude?
Peasant Labour
The Most Evil of Guilds
It's a Crime to be this Beautiful!
The Signs, They Do Nothing!
Chain-Mail Bikini
Just Pretend Like I'm Not a Lich
One Fish, Two Fish, Blind Fish, Blue Fish
Trustworthy Allies
Clerical Urges
Karmic Retribution
Friends in... Places
The Value of a Name
Death Lazers
Look and See!
I Saw Him Do it!
Lookin' Good
Childish Things
Clara's Sorcerer Daycare
Blind Freedom
Nighttime Retreat
Only Mildly Creepy
Selective Memory
It's Magic!
Like 5 Dragons

Chapter XI: Princess, Princess
Watch out for the Lunatic
He'd Be Better off as a Pixie
That Elusive Assassin's Guild
Girl Problems
Research Solves Everything
Enchanters Are Always Right
Out of Character
Enter the Fat Paladin
Non-Lethal Death Attack
Hiding, it's all about hiding
Bad Assassins
Homemade Gods
20 INT, 0 WIS
Everybody Hates You
Everything's Beautiful in the Eyes of Certain Beholders
Malekai, Social Savant
He Who Controls the Artifice Controls the Universe
Forever Alone
You Know You're Hitchhiking in the Wrong Neighbourhood When...
Dumb Clerics
Hurrah for Beverages!
Desperate Times..
Totally Not Evil
Resisting Urge to Kill..
The Bluest Flower You've Ever..
Forests For Days
For When You Need Big Help..
Alignment Restrictions
You Can't Say He Didn't Deserve That
Fairweather Friends
Ever Diligent
Paladins Are Awesome
Community Service
With Friends Like These...

Chapter XII: Cats
I Roll to Dodge the Question
Some Spell Turrets Would Be Great Right About Now!
There Are Items in the Walls!
Sir Snookums the Terrorist
Ever Vigilant
True Friends
When Shit Gets Real
More Than Just a Cat
Cats > Cat People
Still Alive
Digging Your Own Grave
Thanks for the Sympathy and All, But..
Terrible Freaking Assassin
Extra Baggage
Empty Promises
Of Cat Funerals
Stop Leaving Your NPCs All Over the Floor!
The King of the World
The Sweetest Princess
God Stuff
So for Your Bi-Monthly Paystub..
Being Cool
Minor Inconvenience
Ring of Sustinence
Of Carrying Princesses
Well Equipped
Golem Passtimes
Of New and Old Familiars
What is Dead May Never Die

Chapter XIII: Wizard Towers
Eternal Torment
Lame-Ass Tower
Burrow Speed
Many Strings Attached
Restricting Contracts
You Know, Bad Guy Stuff
Sign Your Life Away
Trashin' Towers
I Would Rather You Didn't Go In There..
Nameless Mook
Paladin Trap Checking
I Know Exactly How You Feel About Good Brother Galahad
Brilliant Dungeoneer
If You Agree to the Battle of Wits, You've Already Lost
Contractual Contract
Alignment Constraints
Terms of Employment
Petitioning for Rights
And Back With the Side Characters..
The Meaning of Humanity
To Be Needed
Playing Cards
A New Challenger Appears
Peril is a Subjective Term
And Here's Where the Pot Calls the Kettle Black
Two Fundamental Differences
Previous Relevant Experience
I Guess I Always Wanted to Be the Bad Guy Anyways..
Just Put a Blanket Over It!
My First Dungeon Boss

Chapter XIV: Tiny Birds
Cite Your Sources
Democracy Doesn't Work Out Well For Malekai
A Wizard Duel at Last
Thomas, Master of the Arcane
Totally a Legitimate Spell
Non-lethal Spellcasting
Princess for Loan
A Place to Call Home
Wizard Duels at Last
Princess Dustcloud
Tiny Birds
Polymorph into a God
When Nerds Fight Back
Stand-in Sphinx
A Matter of Perspective
Lawful Stupid
Of Lichs and Phylacterys
School Specialization Strikes Back
Bad Dudes
Natural Adaptations
Other than Everything, Nothing's Wrong
Logical Paradox
Elven Barbarians
Kindness is Subjective
Your One Chance, You Blew it
Playing House
A Matter of Perspective
A Bachelors in Arson
Malekai the Savior
All Things Considered...
Martha Stewart
Beta Testing

Chapter XV: Constructs
Extra Parts
Define "Life"
New Siblings
The 3 Laws of Robotics are Really More of a Guideline Anyways
It only Scrys Santa Clause. and Only in One Location
A Tall Steeped Grande Bag of Holding With Extra Galahad
A Romantic Proposal
The Biggest Troll
Maybe the Friend Zone is the Safest Place to Be With a Psycopathic Murderer
Ideals and Values are Not Manufacturer Defined
Argumentative Rebuttal Protocols Initiated
Aeternum Vale to the Man I Once Called Father
Mercy Where Mercy's Not Due
His Greatest Discovery
Perfect, Just the Way You Are
Life Lessons from the Undead
Marketing, is Everything
A Glimpse of Hell
From Where I'm Standing, You're All Evil
Awkward Moments...
Wizards; No Common Sense!
Has it Been Nine Months Already?
The Impossible Sidequest
A King Without a Throne
Snow Babies
Ice Cream is Awesome
This is a Private Monologue
No Prep Time, Wizards Only, Final Destination.
All That Matters is That We're Hallucinating Together

Chapter XVI: the Beginning of the End
For the Love of Paperwork
A Biased Survey
The Pen Really is Mightier than the Sword
Mundane vs. Magic
Like 60 Gawdamn Templates
It's not a Party Until Lars Shows Up
Just Fail for me This One Time
Refills Are Free
One Good Act
To Sell Your Soul for Coin
A Stalker's Repository
An Appeal to Innate Evil
Hold the Door!
Union Dues
Safety is Relative
Moment of Glory
Multiclass to the Moon and Back
Weren't We Driving or Something?
Flying Blind
And Live Together Forever in Holy Turmoil
Blind Does Not Mean Mute!
And Thus the Gathering of Plot Relevant Characters Commences
The Base You Ordered has Arrived
I'm an Evil Wizard and You're a Good Cleric
Malekai's Speech: Part I
Malekai's Speech: Part II
Goodbye Forever
Breaking the Bonds
Scrooge McDemon
Taking Care of Business
You and What Army?
All According to Keikaku...
We Were Doing That, Weren't We?
The Lone Wizard

Chapter XVII: Epilogue
Winston the beholder and Annathas the homunculus
Lars the lich, Pearle the princess, Arthur the knight & Maria the cleric
Marka the Assassin and King Larry the Entrepreneur
Jeremiah the Artificer and Nietzsche the Homunculus
Primal the Homunculus
Leeroy the Lich Inventor
Clara the Cleric, Galahad the Far Paladin & Nythanar the Gargoyle
Cessil the Blind Sorcerer and Valence the Formerly Blind Sorcerer
Tabitha the Raptoran and Thomas the Sullied Knight
Malekai & Liz, Part I
Malekai & Liz, Part II
Malekai & Liz, Part III
Malekai & Liz, Finale